“Good evening Mr. Walrus. Got something a little bit different for you today.”
“And what would that be, pray tell.”
“Well, we are using actual cartoons this time around.”
“About time.”
Winner
This week.
Happy Saturday Night! Fortunately, Michael Jackson Once Again Breaks Up An Incipient Brawl in the IMAO Editing Department (Which We Don’t Have)
I Continue Writing Scripts
What Kind of Limp-Wristed Pusscake Charges Are These?
Suspect ID’d in fatal shooting of title-winning college gymnast Kara Welsh
NY Post | 9/3/24 | Isabel KeaneThe man accused of fatally shooting 21-year-old University of Wisconsin-Whitewater gymnast Kara Welsh has been identified as a former wrestler at the college, police said.
Chad T. Richards, 23, of Loves Park, Illinois, was arrested Friday night after allegedly shooting the award-winning gymnast multiple times at an apartment about a block from the university’s main campus, the Whitewater Police Department said.
Whitewater police have requested charges from the district attorney’s office of first-degree intentional homicide,
endangering safety by the use of a dangerous weapon and
disorderly conduct while armed,
cops said.
It’s Murder! With a gun! “Endangering safety”?? “Disorderly conduct”??
Goldfish Crackers: “Let’s Put 10,000% More Glue Where The Purchaser Is Going To Try To Open the Box Than Anywhere Else”
Oppo Kinda Resembles a Tree When Lying on His Back
Straight Line of the Day: What You Should Know About Russia’s New Nuclear Cruise Missile
What you should know about Russia’s new nuclear cruise missile
Cinecitta Obernai | 9/3/24 | Weston[Odd source; odd author. — Oppo]
On Monday, Reuters reported on my discovery that Russia appears to be building the first launch facility for its experimental Burevestnik nuclear-powered cruise missile, which the United States calls the SSC-X-9 Skyfall. The facility is nearly complete, suggesting that the new missile could soon enter service with Russia’s Strategic Missile Forces.
[One does not actually have to capitalize everything for emphasis. — Oppo]
There is a lot of hype surrounding the Burevestnik: US authorities have denounced Russia’s development of “radiation-emitting, nuclear-powered cruise missiles” and called the system a “flying Chernobyl.” Unlike conventional cruise missiles, which are powered by jet engines, the Burevestnik is powered by an unprotected nuclear reactor. This means it can – at least in theory – travel almost unlimited distances.
Welcome to IMAO! Damn — Watch Your Six. The Cows Have Seized the High Ground in Front
Friday Night Open Thread
Bring the cat in, just in case.
Plans call for Starliner to undock from the station at 6:04 p.m. Eastern Sept. 6. It will move away from the station and then perform a deorbit burn, setting up a landing at White Sands Space Harbor in New Mexico at 12:03 a.m. Eastern Sept. 7, or six hours after undocking.
spacenews.com/starliner-return-from-iss-set-for-sept-6
Right about now.
Ah, Frack It!
Madame President
I just want to post this prediction here, for bragging rights if it comes true:
- Joe Biden will either resign the presidency or be incapacitated before January. May wait to see how the election turns out.
2. Kamala will become the first woman president. Yay!
3. In the flurry of good vibes, she will issue a pardon to Joe, Hunter, and other Biden clan members of any federal crimes — the real reason for her ascent.
I feel this in my bones to be 70-80% likely.
More Script-Writing
Mary Ann: Mmmmph!
Oppo: Don’t fret, little lady.
[Subdues cannibal, kicks aside Gilligan and spear.]
Mary Ann: Mmmmph!
Oppo: Let me untie you. I’d never take advantage of a woman in your predicament. [Unties her.]
Mary Ann: Mmmph!
Oppo: Oh, yeah, the gag. Let me get that off your mouth. Now you just run along to where you’ll be safe, and I’ll keep these hombres from following you.
Mary Ann: You’re quite a man!
Oppo [Spanks her playfully] Git, little lady!
So at least I get something out of this little scene.
Straight Line of the Day: Advantages or Disadvantages of Marrying a Ghost…
Woman who married ghost says she was attacked by spirit of mass murderer on visit to haunted prison
NY Post | 8-29-24A woman who married then divorced a ghost has summoned the spirit of an American mass murderer – in a prison’s death row.
Spooky singer Brocarde says she conjured the ghost of Carroll Edward “Eddie” Cole at The Nevada State Penitentiary in the USA.
She was conducting a paranormal investigation at the former jail – and says he tried to possess her body.
Brocarde, from Oxfordshire in the UK, was filming while locked inside the execution chamber on its death row.
Welcome to IMAO! Our Goal Is To House Every Large Family on a Hollywood Backlot
Friday Classic Funny
“Good morning Mr. Walrus. What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on?”
“Looks like WordPress is going bonkers. Slow at times, sometimes just not working.”
“Any idea why?”
“I’m blaming Russian hackers trying to give cover to the FBI to make them think this is to help Trump get elected when it is really a psyop to help Harris, Putin’s prefered choice.”
“That is devious.”
“That’s the Russians for you.”
That’s it for today. WordPress just keeps cycling and won’t let me load anything more. Hope they fix it soon. Help us Basil, not Basil, you’re our only hope!